C is for Cowboy (ABCs of Love Sweet Romance Book 3) Read online

  Of course she knew there wasn’t any plumbing way out here. She wasn’t expecting the restroom at the Ritz, but she hadn’t seen an outhouse yet, and she couldn’t wait much longer. She’d hoped they’d come across one and she could just sneak away without asking for directions. But that time had passed. She was on the verge of embarrassing herself a lot more than by admitting she needed to go.

  Cash stopped and looked at her. “Didn’t you read anything in the pamphlet about this pack trip?”

  “I read the part about beautiful scenery and remote trails. What else was I supposed to read?” She pressed her thighs together, resisting the urge to cross her legs and look totally ridiculous.

  “Can you wait ‘til we get back to camp?”

  Madi shook her head, and with the slightest shake of his head, Cash dashed her dreams of finding an outhouse.

  “Remote means we make our own bathroom. Let’s find you a rock.” He turned away from her, then glanced back. “Unless you need a cathole.”

  “What’s that for?” she asked slowly, her face already burning as she thought through the limited possibilities.

  Cash walked ahead of her deeper into the trees. “It’s for… longer bathroom visits.”

  “Oh, so… not a trap for cats.”

  Cash looked over his shoulder looking ready to laugh but stopped himself. She saw his shoulders shaking though, when he turned back around. “Definitely not a trap for cats. Traps something else entirely.”

  “Yeah. That’s the kind I need.” In her whole life, she’d never been so glad for a guy to not look at her.

  Cash walked a few more feet until they were completely surrounded by trees, then he turned around. “You’ll need to hold this for me.”

  He held out the firewood for her and poured it into her arms. Then he pulled a spade out of his backpack and began digging. When he was done, he dug in his pack again until he found some toilet paper and baggies which he set by the hole next to the spade.

  “Bag the TP, bury everything else,” he said and held out his arms for the wood. “Can you make it back to the campsite okay?”

  “I think so.” She’d make it if it meant her only other option was having him wait nearby while she “powdered her nose” rustic-style.

  “You’ll be okay,” he said as he walked away. She was ninety percent sure he was laughing again.

  Twenty uncomfortable minutes later, Madi did find her way back to the campsite without too much trouble, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so embarrassed.

  “I’m getting dinner ready if you want to take it easy for a little bit. You’re going to feel today’s ride,” Cash said to her as she neared the fire where the other campers were sitting on the ground leaning against their saddles. “The blue tent’s yours.”

  Normally she would have offered to help, but the difficulties that lay ahead over the next few days had finally hit her, along with a wave of exhaustion. She had no idea how to rough it, let alone help Cash cook over a fire. She was head over heels for him, but country living was way out of her comfort zone. Being so far away from any kind of civilization left her feeling untethered, like a sail torn loose in a heavy storm.

  She nodded at him and walked toward the tent, wondering why having to use a cathole was the thing that brought her back to reality. It wasn’t the hardest thing she’d ever done, or even the most uncomfortable, but it was somehow the thing that emphasized the gap in lifestyle between her and Cash. They were from different universes, and she couldn’t see how it would ever be possible for them to cross the galaxies between them.

  Madi unzipped her tent and crawled in, ready to collapse on her bed roll. But something stopped her.

  A bunch of wildflowers lay on her pillow, a rainbow of orange, purple and yellow tied together with a piece of twine.

  Of course Cash left her flowers just as she was wondering how they could ever bridge the gap.

  The only other man who’d ever brought her flowers was her granddad.

  But this time, listening to the soft sounds of Montana outside the thin tent walls, she couldn’t forget how different things were here compared to LA. The flowers were a beautiful gesture, but maybe it was dangerous to take them as a sign.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cash used his pocketknife to cut off a piece of twine and wrap it around the flowers he’d picked for Madi. His bouquet didn’t look half bad, if he said so himself. He looked around to make sure Bruce and Nathan, and the sisters, Pam and June, weren’t watching as he crawled into Madi’s tent to set the flowers on the bedroll he’d already laid out for her. Then he backed out, straightened his hat and turned around to come face-to-face with June.

  “I think she’ll like them, but are you sure you’re not chasing after the wrong kind of woman? That one’s no cowgirl,” June said kindly in the same sort of voice his mom used with him when he wanted to try something crazy, like riding a horse who’d already thrown every other cowboy on the ranch. His mom never wanted to discourage him, but she wanted him to think carefully before doing anything dangerous.

  “Thanks.” He scooted past June and went to check on the fire he’d built.

  His mom would have liked Madi, but she would have warned him to be cautious, and she wouldn’t have been wrong. Cash could see Madi wearing down. It was hard sitting a saddle all day, camping on the range, and going without everyday conveniences. He loved it and looked forward to the two weeks in late summer every year when they moved most of the herd down from the mountains, riding all day and camping every night. It was hard work but more of a vacation than leading these excursions for guests who thought they knew how to ride until they had to spend days at a time in the saddle.

  As inexperienced as she was with horses, Madi shouldn’t have been allowed to come to the ranch in the first place. More importantly, he shouldn’t have been falling as hard for her as he was. Ranching was in his blood. He couldn’t give it up. He’d tried and failed. It took a cowgirl to understand the pull the land and the animals had on a person, but he hadn’t found a cowgirl yet that got his motor running the way Madi did. He couldn’t even put his finger on what it was about her that did it. He only knew that he couldn’t quit her any more than his dad could put down a whiskey glass without draining it at least twice.

  When Madi came back from the “restroom,” she looked even more worn out than she had when he’d left her fifteen minutes before. He could have used some help getting the camp set up and bear-proofed, but he told her to go lie down instead. Maybe the flowers would help.

  And maybe an hour or so would help him sort out his feelings. Right now he was feeling like he wanted to make her as comfortable as she would have been back in LA, but the fact of the matter was, ranch life was rarely comfortable.

  That worried him a lot, but when more than an hour passed with no Madi, Cash had gone long enough without seeing her. He walked to her tent and bent down, resting his butt on his heels.

  “Knock, knock,” he said through the closed tent flaps. “You ready for some chow?”

  The only response he got was sniffing and a ragged breath.

  “Madi? You all right?” Cash kept his voice low and pressed his forehead to the nylon fabric between them. “Can I come in?”

  She unzipped the flaps but didn’t pull them back. Cash wanted to go in, Madi obviously wanted him to, but he worried about the other guests. What would they think about Madi if they saw him spending all his time with her? What would they think about him? It wasn’t really professional to get involved with guests. Rocking M wasn’t a stud ranch. Mr. Early drilled that into every young cowboy he hired. Too many city girls came to the ranch to fulfill some romantic fantasy about cowboys, and too many cowboys were willing to make their dreams come true.

  That’s not what he wanted with Madi, and it’s not what he wanted anyone thinking he wanted.

  So he kept his feet outside of the tent while he lifted the flap and stuck his head inside. “What’s going on?”
/>   Madi shook her head and rubbed underneath her eyes. “I don’t know. I came in here, and there were flowers, and they’re so beautiful and…” She sucked in her breath with deep gasps and the tears started again. “I shouldn’t feel as alone as I do right now. But it’s too quiet. I can’t get my bearings when I’m not surrounded by people.”

  Cash looked back at the campfire where everyone else was pretending not to be completely engrossed in what was happening at Madi’s tent. He took a deep breath and looked back at Madi’s tear-streaked face.

  And then he didn’t care.

  He crawled into her tent, boots and all, and zipped up the flaps. He rolled over to sit on the end of her bedroll and pulled off his boots before scooting back to sit next to her. She pressed herself into his chest as soon as he opened his arms for her.

  “It can be a lonely place out here.” Cash kissed the top of her head and held her tight, feeling his heart break.

  “What do we do, Cash?”

  “I don’t know, Madi.” He squeezed her tighter. “My mom told me once love isn’t any different than a cow.”

  Madi lifted her head slightly. “That’s not super romantic.”

  “You can’t force a cow to go any direction it doesn’t want to go, so you let it think it’s choosing its own path when really you’re moving it where it needs to be.”

  “I don’t get it. I don’t understand any of your ranch talk.” Madi let out a deep sigh but stayed in his arms.

  “It means you can’t force love to go where you want it to be. It’s too big.” So was the word love, but he’d used it without thinking. He’d also noticed her whole body tense when he’d said it. “Two people have to work together to move their… relationship on the path it’s supposed to be on. It takes time and patience.”

  “Is that what we’re talking about here?” She kept her head buried in his chest. “A relationship? The l-word?” she dug her elbow into his side, and the worried knot that had lodged itself in his chest with the word love unwound.

  His mom had told him this same analogy ten years before, but he hadn’t understood it until he’d wrapped Madi in his arms. “If we want to be together, let’s take it slow. We’ll find the path we’re supposed to be on.”

  “Okay, that is romantic.” She ran her hand under her nose. “But I can’t see how to find a path between LA and Montana. I want to, but I don’t know how.”

  “Me too.” He ran his hand over the braid that hung down her back. “Either we will, or we won’t, but I don’t want to give up without trying.”

  “Me neither.” She lifted her chin, and he leaned in to meet her in the kiss she was waiting for.

  “Dinner’s gettin’ cold,” he said when he pulled away.

  “Let it.”

  He couldn’t resist kissing her again, longer and deeper.

  “The rest of them are sitting right outside this tent waiting for us.”

  “Let them,” she answered with a smile, and her chin still tilted toward him in a way that made it impossible for him not to kiss her again.

  And again.

  By the time they stopped, the sun had dipped below the mountains leaving the tent darker than the night sky. Cash unzipped the flaps and crawled out first. Bruce, Nathan, June, and Pam were all still sitting around the fire pretending they hadn’t been listening to everything that had been going on in Madi’s tent.

  “Girl, you’re going to get me in trouble,” he whispered to Madi as he held out his hand to help her up. There was no point in playing like they weren’t head over heels for each other. June had figured it out five minutes into their trip.

  They walked to the campfire together holding hands and blushing. And smiling. There was a lot of smiling.

  “Nice night out tonight,” Cash said to break the ice.

  “Nicer for some,” Bruce answered with a laugh.

  “I’m assuming the only thing going on in that tent was talking,” Pam said.

  “Not to worry,” Madi said to the others, and Cash feared what she might say next. “He was a perfect gentleman. I needed some comfort, and he gave it to me.”

  “Any innuendo there was totally unintentional,” Cash blurted before Madi could say anything worse.

  “I could use some comfort,” Pam muttered, scraping up the last of her dinner.

  Cash scooped some food for Madi and handed it to her. “Eat it all, then dump whatever you can’t finish into the fire.” He took a bite of his stew and faced the rest of the group. “If you’re done, let’s get the plates cleaned and put away. We’re in bear country.”

  Madi stopped eating. “We’re what?”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” He shoveled another bite into his mouth. “But eat fast. The longer we have food out, the more of its scent will drift downwind.”

  “I think I’m done.” She dropped her fork on her nearly full plate which trembled slightly in her hands. The fork bounced off the plate and hit the ground.

  “No, you’re not.” Cash bent and picked up her fork, then handed her his. “Mine’s cleaner. You need to eat. There won’t be any more until morning. All the food’s going in the bear hang.” He waved his thumb toward the bag Bruce and Nathan were packing and tying a rope to.

  “No s’mores?” Madi asked. One of the sisters scoffed, and they both carried their plates to the makeshift kitchen area a hundred yards away.

  Cash shook his head. “This isn’t that kind of campout. No bacon for breakfast either. Bears love bacon.” One look at her face told him to stop talking about bears before she hightailed it back to Los Angeles. “I’ve got everything covered. Don’t worry.”

  “I’m not sleeping in the tent by myself.” She took another bite of the food and grimaced. She’d probably been expecting something better than instant potatoes and tuna.

  Cash was about to argue that she didn’t need to worry, but Madi had the look of a run-down horse. She wasn’t going one more step in the direction he wanted. The other guests were already doubled up in their two-man tents, which meant there was only one person left to bunk up with Madi. Not that he minded being that person—and Cash was sure he was her first choice—but it would be awfully hard to sleep laying right next to her. And awfully hard to convince their traveling companions that nothing funny was going on.

  And… it would be awfully hard to keep from doing anything “funny” being that close to Madi. A two-man tent was even smaller than the motel room.

  “I’ll take care of you.” Cash took her bowl and gathered up the other dishes to take to the washing area. “Change out of those clothes and let’s get them bagged. You don’t want to wear anything to bed that smells like food.”

  Madi went to her tent while Cash joined the others in cleaning up the camp area.

  “You got your hands full with that one,” Bruce said to Cash as they put up the bear hang.

  “Yep,” Cash answered. No use pretending he didn’t.

  “Wish I had my hands full with a girl like that,” sixteen-year-old Nathan said.

  Bruce shushed Nathan, but Cash laughed. “It ain’t half-bad.”

  By the time Cash had the horses secured, the campground immaculate, and the bear fence put up, everyone was bedded down for the night, but the light shining through Madi’s tent told him she was awake waiting for him.

  After changing into his clothes for sleeping, Cash folded up his bedroll and carried it to Madi’s tent. She unzipped the flaps before he had to ask, and he was more than relieved to see her wearing baggy sweatpants and a hoodie. It didn’t make her any less beautiful, but it assured him she didn’t want him there for any other reason than to feel safe.

  “I knew you’d bring your bedroll. I made room for it.” She pointed to the small empty space. “I’m not even going to kiss you goodnight. I promise I’m not trying to seduce you or anything; I just don’t want to be alone.”

  “That’s about the worst thing you could say to a cowboy you’re trying not to seduce. We know what it’s like to no
t want to be alone.” He pulled off his boots, and with a sigh he lay on top of his bedroll. The night was cold, but the air in the tent was too hot for sleeping under any blankets.

  “Good night.” Madi climbed under her blanket and turned off the flashlight. “See, I told you I wasn’t going to kiss you.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  Not really. All he could think about was not kissing Madi, which made him want to kiss her all the more.

  “I thought cowboys liked being alone,” Madi said into the darkness.

  “They tolerate being alone. It comes with the job. But they hate being lonesome.”

  He felt her move closer, could smell her shampoo under the scent of leather and horse that lingered from their ride.

  “There’s a song about that, isn’t there?”

  “Hank Williams.” He turned on his side toward her. “‘The silence of a falling star lights up a purple sky, and as I wonder where you are, I’m so lonesome I could cry.’”

  “That’s it. Granddad used to sing it to me.” Her breathing filled the silence that followed. “We could probably hold hands, couldn’t we?”

  “Yeah.” Cash rolled onto his back and patted Madi’s bedroll until he found her hand.

  He interlaced his fingers through hers and forgot what lonely felt like.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Madi fell asleep to the sound of Cash’s breathing. Or maybe it was her own. She couldn’t tell as exhaustion took over and she drifted into a dream about her and Cash in a meadow full of wildflowers. Madi could see him and he seemed close enough to touch, but each time she tried he was just out of her reach. The dream seemed to go on all night until she finally opened her eyes to the gray of early dawn and found Cash gone.

  She pushed back the blanket she’d pulled over her nose and looked around. Cash’s bedroll was still there but rolled up, and no other sign of him remained. Her breath rolled out of her lungs in a wispy cloud as the cold air greeted her. She was glad she’d worn sweats to bed. They’d kept her warm all night, and she wasn’t ready for the cold she’d have to face to answer nature’s call.