C is for Cowboy (ABCs of Love Sweet Romance Book 3) Read online

Cash shook his head and lifted the fish out of the net. He looked at her as he held it, knowing he should say something but not sure what. “I better get this in the cooler.” He held up the fish, like she wouldn’t know what he was talking about.

  Basically, he was an idiot.

  Madi tipped her head to the side and blinked. “I think I’ll head back.” Then she stepped over her pole, not bothering to pick it up, and walked toward the path they’d come down.

  “We still need some more fish if we’re going to have any kind of dinner tonight,” he called after her. They had plenty of dried food, but he’d wanted her to have a really good meal. Something she’d remember. Something that might make her want to stay.

  “I think you can handle it alone.” She didn’t look back.

  He could have followed, but why? Just to get his heart broken?

  Nope. He’d catch fish instead.

  Alone.

  Which he did, but a cooler full of fish couldn’t fill the space Madi left behind. And gutting them only made him feel worse. He’d messed up. Of course he knew what he wanted. He wanted her. All he’d have to do was tell her that, and hopefully things would go back to the way they’d been.

  Cash picked up both poles and the tackle box in one hand and carried the cooler in the other. When he got back to camp, Madi was sitting by the fire talking to Bruce and Nathan. Nathan was already a little bit in love with her, Cash could tell. Cash couldn’t blame him. It nearly killed him when she didn’t look at him, keeping all her attention on Nathan as he explained his favorite way to prepare fresh fish to grill over the fire.

  “I hope we don’t get any bears wanting to share our dinner,” Bruce said, flipping a fish on the grill.

  That got Madi to look at Cash, and he hated the fear he saw in her eyes. She quickly looked away, but he sat down beside her.

  “We’re too low here,” he said to Bruce, but glancing at Madi. “They like the higher country, but I’ll put up the bear fence to be safe.” One benefit of Bruce’s comment was that she’d want Cash to sleep in her tent again.

  Maybe…

  Hopefully.

  “Good.” She didn’t get up to move from him, but she did lean as far away as possible.

  Not a good sign.

  Things didn’t get much better, even after he cooked the fish and served it to her. It was some of the best lake trout he’d ever had, and she raved about it, but not to him. She answered pleasantly enough when he asked a question, but she didn’t start any conversation with him. She helped clean up but was the first to turn in. Cash lingered by the fire, making sure it was completely out, waiting until everyone else had gone to bed. Then he went to Madi’s tent, where her lantern was still on.

  “Knock, knock,” he whispered. “You okay in there?”

  “Yep. Good night.”

  He chewed his lip before trying again. “You need any company?”

  “I’m good, thanks,” she answered without hesitation.

  Which meant Cash had some thinking to do. Clearly, he’d said something to make Madi upset. Or a lot of things. He hadn’t been very smooth in his replies to her questions. But she’d caught him off guard. He thought he’d made it pretty clear he wouldn’t mind if she stayed when he told her she could do worse than Montana. What else did he need to do to prove he wasn’t afraid of commitment? Obviously, he couldn’t pick up and move to LA. He had a life and a job in Montana.

  But then, she had that in LA too.

  He climbed into his own tent which felt too big and lay down on his bedroll. He wasn’t the kind of guy to play with girls’ hearts, but was he doing that with Madi? If she didn’t want to stay in Montana—and odds were she wouldn’t—would he be okay saying good-bye to her forever?

  Nope.

  That answer was easy. No way could he imagine never seeing her again. But he also couldn’t imagine leaving Montana.

  He was in a pickle for sure. There was no way he could keep both Madi and Montana.

  Which meant he’d just have to convince her to stay.

  Yep. That was the solution. He’d show her all the things to do and all the things to love in Montana. She’d already picked up riding pretty quickly, his dog loved her, she wasn’t afraid of the cows, and she’d baited her own hook. Madi Keller had already mastered Cowgirl 101. How hard could it be to totally convert her? Montana was easy to fall in love with.

  Almost as easy as falling in love with Madi.

  Which. . . he was doing.

  Cash flung back his blanket and sat up straight, his head touching the top of the tent. If he could have leaned back against the side of the tent without pulling the whole thing over, he would have. He needed something to prop him up after being tackled by the realization that he was in love with Madi.

  And he should have been a lot more scared about it. Not that he wasn’t afraid. He was. But it was the kind of afraid he felt before he broke a new horse. The kind of afraid that was driven by adrenaline rather than fear. The kind of afraid that was wrapped up in excitement and anticipation. The kind of afraid that came from worrying he would lose the feeling rather than fear of what he was feeling.

  That was new.

  He fell into a restless sleep, too anxious for morning to come to really rest. His plan would work. It had to. He’d only known Madi a few days, but lightning had struck and had permanently changed the landscape of his heart. There was no turning back for him, and he prayed Madi felt the same way.

  Cash was the first one up the next morning, as usual, but he hoped Madi would be up before the others. He kept one eye on her tent as he got breakfast started and fed the horses. Every little noise caused a flash of hope that Madi was emerging from her tent. Over and over his hopes were dashed, but he refused to see that as a sign that his master plan was destined to fail.

  Madi finally did come out of her tent, a wildflower and a burst of sunshine that only added to the beauty surrounding them. His breath caught and he waited for her to look at him, to feel every emotion he wanted to share with her. She swept her braid over her shoulder and played with the ends of her hair, trying not to look at him, but he wouldn’t take his eyes off her until she returned his gaze.

  She finally did, and he smiled. Her lip twitched, not quite a smile, but he’d take it. He walked toward her, anxious to tell her his plan. Anxious to tell her how he felt in a better way than he had the day before. Anxious to say it all before the others came out of their tents.

  He didn’t make it. As if they were all waiting for the exact worst moment, Bruce, Nathan, Pam and June all emerged from their tents at the same time. Madi stood by the fire between him and them, and there was no way to make it to her before they did. Because of course they’d all head straight to the fire, and in Nathan’s case, straight to Madi. Cash would have to wait for a better time.

  That time didn’t come around until they had cleaned up camp, and then he couldn’t wait anymore. He followed her when she went into the trees to use the latrine, which was very stalkery, but if he kept in what he was feeling, he’d explode. He couldn’t wait until they were back at the ranch, which was looking more and more like the next time they’d be alone together.

  “Madi,” he whispered as he followed her.

  She turned around, surprised. “What?”

  The look on her face told him he’d have to work harder than he’d expected to win her over. Or maybe she just really needed to use the latrine. Either way, he had to work fast.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday. I said all the wrong things.”

  She shifted her weight from one leg to the other and glanced in the direction of the latrine, but she didn’t leave. That was enough encouragement for him to go on.

  “I want you to stay. I hate the thought of you leaving.” He moved closer to her. Not enough to scare her but enough to feel her without actually touching her.

  “How am I supposed to stay in Montana, Cash? I have a life in LA. And what’s the end result we’re looking for here?”

&n
bsp; She didn’t mean here, here. This spot in the mountains removed them from their separate lives, but it wasn’t quite far enough to escape the reality of what lay ahead. He took a deep breath and pushed back the fear of being honest about the end result he was hoping for.

  “Both of us finding a way to do what we love… together?” He shrugged. Those weren’t the right words, but he was getting closer, he hoped.

  Madi blinked hard, not quite wincing, but definitely taken back by his words. A deer startled by the sudden appearance of humans but not sure whether or not to be scared. He held his breath to keep her from bolting.

  She sighed and moved closer to him. “I’m enough of a romantic to want that too, but too much of a realist to not know how lonely I would be living on a ranch a million miles from anyone.”

  Cash took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I know, but can I show you all the good parts that might make it less lonely?” If you can fall in love with me, you might be able to fall in love with Montana, too. He kept himself from saying those words out loud. She still looked half ready to bolt. “We both look a little rougher on the outside than we are inside. You saw that with me. Maybe you can see it with this place that’s a part of me.”

  Madi looked into his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. Then she moved even closer, letting go of his hand to take off his hat before wrapping her arms around his neck. She tipped her head to the side, then her lips met his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him until there was no space between them.

  She hadn’t said yes, but her kiss told him everything he needed to know about how she felt.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Madi pulled away from Cash but stayed in his arms. She liked it there.

  A lot.

  She felt safe. She felt happy. She felt like she was home, except she’d never known a home like that.

  “Is that a yes?” Cash asked.

  Madi leaned into Cash until their foreheads touched and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s not a no. But it won’t be easy.” She kissed him again, then stepped out of his arms. “I’ve really got to pee.”

  He nodded. “I won’t keep you.”

  She brushed his hair from his forehead and put his hat back on his head. “No one can ‘keep’ me, but I appreciate that you’re trying to show me why I should stay.”

  “That’s not what I meant…”

  “I know.” She backed up, not wanting to stop looking at him. “I just wanted to thank you.”

  Tension leaked out of his shoulders, and he smiled. “Go see that man about a horse. We’ve got some fishing to do.”

  She assumed he was talking about her using the bathroom, but there was a bigger question to ask.

  “Fishing all day?” A few hours yesterday hadn’t been bad, and maybe she’d actually catch something today, but she definitely didn’t want to fish. All. Day. Long.

  “Only if you want.”

  “I don’t want.” She also didn’t want to walk toward the latrine until he walked away. It was one thing to tell him she had to go, but another thing entirely for him to see her actually going to the place to go.

  “I brought some stuff to read. I’ll put up the hammock.” He turned to leave, and she thought again about the wonderful views Montana offered. If he walked away from her often enough while talking about reading, he might just convince her to stay.

  Madi questioned whether she’d be able to make it through the rest of the day though. The outdoors was great, but she was itching to get her new phone and see how many likes her latest posts had gotten. How did people relax while camping? She couldn’t get over the feeling of restlessness that made her legs itch.

  But she did like the idea of reading in a hammock with Cash. She could tolerate fishing if it meant snuggling time after. Or snuggling time during. That would make fishing very tolerable.

  Cash seemed to be on the same wavelength. They all went to the lake together, but even though they’d all planned to stay together, somehow Cash and Madi ended up far enough from the other four to engage in more snuggling—among other things—than fishing. Luckily the fishing they did paid off, and by the time they rejoined the rest of the group, Madi had two fish in the basket.

  “That was fun,” she said to Cash as they walked toward the others. “Even the fishing part.”

  “Fun enough you’d want to do it again?” he asked her.

  “Some parts of it, for sure. Jury’s still out on the other parts.” The fish-gutting in particular.

  “I thought you liked kissing me.” He playfully bumped her with his shoulder.

  “That’s not the part I was talking about,” she said under her breath as they approached the rest of the group.

  “Madi and I will go get dinner prepped if you guys want to get some more fishing in,” Cash said, and Madi’s cheeks burned. Subtlety wasn’t his specialty.

  “I’m ready to head back too,” Nathan said.

  Bruce gripped his shoulder and turned him to face the opposite direction. “I think we’ve got some more fishing to do, son.”

  Madi’s cheeks burned hotter. Obviously, everyone knew she and Cash had a thing going. She didn’t care what they thought about her, but she didn’t want Cash to get into trouble for giving her more attention than he did the other guests. She may have been less experienced than them, but clearly that’s not the only reason he was spending most of his time with her.

  “You two have fun,” June said to Madi as she passed by her. “But not too much fun.”

  When they were far enough away and Madi’s cheeks had cooled, she said to Cash, “They think we’re going to do more than cook some fish.”

  “We are.” He took her hand. “We’re going to sit in a hammock and read Jane Eyre. I don’t care what else they think we’re doing.”

  “You keep talking about Jane Eyre, and you just might convince me to stay.” Madi wasn’t exaggerating. Everything about this cowboy was unexpected.

  “Have you ever noticed the double-standard around Mr. Rochester’s ward—”

  “—Adele.”

  “Yeah, Adele,” Cash continued. “How come it’s not a bigger deal that Rochester is clearly her father, but it’s her mother that gets all the criticism for having a baby out of wedlock? Double-standard right there.”

  “Follow that up with a kiss, and I’m yours forever.”

  He stopped in his tracks and gave her what she wanted. “I’ll start looking for places as soon as we get back.” He sounded like he was only half-joking.

  “There are ranches in California too, you know.” She took his hand again, and they walked side-by-side toward their camp.

  “I’ve lived here my entire life,” he answered softly. “My family has been on that land for generations.”

  “But…” Madi considered her words carefully. “They’re not anymore.” She had to be careful about leading him on. Of course there was a chance he could convince her to stay, but shouldn’t she have the same opportunity to convince him to come to the place she loved? “It’s kind of a double-standard for you to expect me to uproot my life to be near you if you’re not willing to do the same for me, right?”

  He let go of her hand and took off his hat to comb his hand through his hair. Even after putting his hat on again, he looked at the sky instead of answering. She wanted to regret saying what she had if it had hurt his feelings, but she didn’t. He couldn’t expect her to sacrifice more than he was willing to. She’d fallen into that trap too many times. One-sided sacrifice wasn’t love.

  “You’ve got a point,” Cash answered finally and took her hand again.

  They spent the rest of the day lying in the hammock reading a little, but mostly talking. And some kissing, but mostly talking. They had a lot of ground to cover. What their parents were like, their favorite memories, their hardest days, their happiest days, best Christmas presents, worst birthdays. They each had a lifetime of memories, and Madi wanted Cash
to know all of hers, but even more, she wanted to know all of his.

  “When did you read Jane for the first time?” She liked that she could be on a first name basis with a novel and Cash would know what she was talking about.

  “High school English. I thought I’d hate it, but I had this incredible teacher who made all kinds of connections to other things that were relevant in my life. I’ve loved it ever since.” Cash ran his fingers up and down her arm as she lay in his, her cheek pressed to his chest. “How about you? When did you fall in love with it?”

  “College.” She wrapped her arm around his waist and burrowed further into his chest, her eyes heavy. “Freshman English. I didn’t want to read it, but Granddad said he’d always wanted to, so he made me read it to him while he was in the hospital. He held out until I finished it, then died the next day.”

  “I’m sorry.” He squeezed his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “My mom loved it too. She wanted me to read it with her, but I didn’t. Wish I would have.”

  Their chests rose and fell in rhythm with each other, and Madi fell asleep.

  She woke to Cash gently shaking her.

  “Time to get dinner on. Everyone else is headed back.”

  Madi sat up at the sound of voices, and the hammock swung to the side, rolling her out of it. She landed on her hands and knees in a bed of pine needles under the hammock.

  “You okay?” Cash asked, peeking over the side of the hammock at her.

  Madi sat back on her heels and wiped the dirt and needles on her hands onto her jeans. “Everything but my pride.”

  Cash laughed and rolled out of the hammock to take her by the hands and help her up.

  “I’m glad you’ve found my many falls so amusing,” she said once she was back on her feet and they were face to face.

  “I fell a little in love with you the moment you fell on top of me.” Cash leaned in to kiss her, then stopped as recognition of what he’d said swept across his face like a shadow on a summer sidewalk.

  Madi froze. Had he just said he loved her? Did she even need to hear the actual words to know that he did? Hadn’t everything he’d been doing shown her that he did? Could she believe him when they barely knew each other?